Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Lance Armstrong Just Glad International Cycling Union Doesn't Test For HeroinJune 8, 2006 | Onion SportsAUSTIN, TX
—Seven-time Tour De France winner Lance Armstrong, who was yet again cleared of doping charges last week by the International Cycling Union (UCI), said Monday he was just glad that his former sport's governing body does not currently test for the use of heroin. "I'm not saying I was a regular user, but let's put it this way: Without smack, there's no way anyone could finish the Tour De France, let alone win it," Armstrong told the audience at a cancer-awareness banquet. "Trust me, the human body can't put up with that kind of punishment day in and day out over an entire month of hundred-plus-mile days without something a little stronger than bananas and massages." The UCI would not respond to Armstrong's comments, saying only that under current policies, any cyclist caught in possession of heroin within three days will have the drug confiscated by race officials.